


Bad Habits

by SSAjeasne



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Pre-Relationship, Self-Harm, warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27905263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SSAjeasne/pseuds/SSAjeasne
Summary: JJ's had a bad habit since high school. How does it effect her job.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Kudos: 65





	Bad Habits

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning   
> Self-Harm
> 
> I'm not going to lie, I kinda hate this piece. I'm not going to lie, I am regretting posting this.   
> Well enjoy this piece of work.

She started when she was in high school. Being the only openly gay kid in a small town was hard, being the sister of the only suicide in that same town was harder. It started by accident, but eventually became a habit she needed to get through the day. She hated the stars that left but she needed to see the blood flow from her thighs. She started wearing longer skirts and pants, even during the hottest summers she never wore anything above her knees. It has been like that since high school. 

When she joined the BAU, she was glad she was the only female on the traveling team. It meant that by default, she got her own room in the hotels they stayed at. Her own room meant that she was free to change into shorts and relieve her stress of the day by taking a blade to her legs without getting caught. She knew that with her job, if anyone found out she could be put on medical leave, if not fired for cheating on the psych eval. That may be the only good thing about being the only girl. 

It was strange, at work she would advocate for the dead and their families, but in her own life she hid, making sure that she couldn’t advocate for herself. Everything changed when Elle joined the team. Another girl on the traveling team meant sharing a room. The change in housing on cases meant changing in the bathroom and wearing pants to bed. Elle never understood why JJ would be in the bathroom for upwards of an hour. In the end though, she never questioned how she spent her time in the bathroom. Eventually it became a habit between the two, they would get back from the local police station, Elle would shower and use the bathroom to get ready for bed, then JJ would get her turn in the bathroom. Normally she would relieve her need before cleaning her cuts and getting in the showers and finally getting ready for bed. 

She was happy when Elle left only for the fact that she could go back to rooming alone when the team was away. Or at least she got her own room until Emily joined the team. Again a new member of the team meant that, again, JJ would have to share a room. She wasn’t mad that Emily joined the team, because in fact she likes Emily, maybe a little more than she should for just being a co-worker. But instead of Emily, JJ was hoping she would be getting a new, male, co-worker. So when Emily joined, JJ assumed that they would fall into the same routine that her and Elle had. Oh had JJ never be so wrong. 

It was a normal case. The team was in Atlanta tracking yet another serial killer with mommy issues. JJ had been feeling the urge all day. It was to the point where the sweet release of sharp metal sliding effortlessly over her thighs was all she could think about and it was affecting her work. She had been trying to outline the same press conference for the last half an hour. JJ could tell that everyone knew she was out of it, but no one had brought it up to her. She thanked them for that. She continued to struggle and finally gave the press conference. By the end of the day, JJ needed nothing more than the ability to lock herself in a bathroom and give into her awful mind. 

After the press conference, the team got a tip on where the unsub may be and went to raid the spot. JJ was left at the station with nothing to do involving the current case. Deciding that she had time before the team would need her again, JJ went back to the hotel. Knowing that there was almost no chance that Emily would return to the room before JJ went back to the station. She skipped locking the bathroom door, not wanting to waste anytime. After carving about half a dozen new marks to her skin, JJ locked at her phone. She wanted to make sure that no one had called her back to the precinct. Seeing no new notifications, she set to work cleaning herself up. 

After cleaning the blood off the leg, she found only two cuts that were deep enough that they required a bandaid. Deciding that those could wait she set to work cleaning legs. Once that was done, JJ set to work on the big two. While cleaning up the mess she made in her med kit, she heard the main door to the hotel room open. Entering a state of panic, JJ had no clue what to do. 

“Hey JJ, you in the bathroom, I really got to go. Today’s not the day to spend 20 years in the bathroom.” Emily yelled through the bathroom door as she pounded on it. 

“Uh, I left my clothes on the bed by accident, if you can grab them for me i'll be out in a minute.” She yelled back through the door. 

“Uhhh, fine. Just hurry up, I really have to go. Or even better, I could just come in and pee while you change. We are both girls anyway.” Emily yelled while grabbing JJ’s clothes from the bed. Going back to the bathroom she found that the door was unlocked. Walking right into the room, she found JJ without a towel on. Her eyes immediately fell on the bright red legs as JJ turned around quickly. 

“Em, what the hell. Haven’t you heard of knocking. Get out.” JJ yelled at Emily as she put a towel on. 

“JJ, let’s not pretend that I didn’t see what I just saw. Why don’t you get dressed and go sit on the bed. Once I use the bathroom.” 

JJ turned around and just stared at Emily. This is not how she expected anyone to react to her habit. 

“Come on JJ get dressed and go. I promise I’ll be right out.” Emily broke the awkward silence that engulfed the room and handed JJ her clothes. Leaving the room JJ was having a full blown panic attack. Getting dressed real quick, JJ sat on the bed like Emily told her to. All of a sudden, JJ saw Emily kneel in front of her, bringing her back to reality. Digging into the same medkit she had used earlier, Emily set to work bandaging the cuts that JJ deemed too small to require bandages. 

“You don’t have to do this. I already cleaned them out. We can skip the right to the part where you yell at me for my stupidity.” 

“”I’m not going to yell at you. I’m going to make sure that these don't get infected. Then we are going to talk about maybe not cutting as deep next time.”

“Next time?”

“Yeah, I meant I don’t expect you to stop cold turkey. That almost never works. But I do expect you to let me help you through the process.”

With those words, JJ’s wall broke and the tears started flowing. When Emily finished with her legs. Emily wrapped JJ in a hug. Leading her to the head of the bed, she laid JJ down, keeping her in her arms. 

Later that night, while still wrapped in Emily’s arms, JJ knew for the first time that she just may be able to kick her bad habit.


End file.
